Parenting and Child Care Guides

Divorce is a hard and trying time for the people involved. Complications often occur and depending on the reasons as to why the marriage is coming to an end there are often bitter feelings between the separated couple and when a child is involved matters often spiral even worse.

The love between a child’s parents and the love that they express to the child is everything that the child knows so when divorce is thrown into the equation the results equal traumatic. Your child will go through a series of emotions when the news that divorce is occurring reaches them, which is why it is important that you tell your child in the correct manner and you reassure them.

Divorce is sadly becoming a common event within families and if children are involved there is a lot more at stake than just a marriage. Consistency to a child is highly important; a loss of routine and a change in your child’s daily habits can have an impact on your child’s life. The reaction of a child to the news of divorce can vary depending on the child’s age and ability to accept what is going on. It is evident that younger children have a harder time dealing with divorce as they can’t fully understand what is happening.

When it comes to a child’s reaction to divorce there are certain emotions that your child will go through starting with grieving. Your child will grieve the loss of family and the daily presence and attention of two parents. After grief comes denial of what is happening. Your child will ignore the fact that the divorce is going on and will refuse to believe that it is happening.

With denial then comes realisation of what is happening, which will result in mourning, depression, mood swings as well as changes in behaviour and anger towards you as parents for allowing the divorce to happen.

Finally your child will understand and start to accept what is happening to their family. You must however remember the importance of answering your child’s questions about what is happening and reassures your child that both you and your partner still love them; this is crucial in reassuring your child that everything will be ok; things will be different but they will be ok.

One of the most important aspects to remember when your family is going through a divorce is to never involve your child within the reasons as to why the divorce is happening. You should tell your child about the divorce in a calm and reassuring manner. It is also important that both parents are present when informing a child about divorce so that the child is reassured that both parents still love them and that the divorce is not their fault.

You should never argue or express hate/ill feeling towards your partner in front of your child, no matter what the reasons are as to why the divorce is taking place. This would only hurt your child and make them feel as though the divorce was their fault as well as making the child feel as though neither parent loved them anymore.

It is highly important that you tell your child about the divorce at the right time, do not rush into this and ensure that both you and your partner are present. After informing your child of the divorce you should try and involve them in the proceedings as little as possible and try to carry on your child’s daily routine as much as you can to help minimise the effect the divorce will have on your child.